Natural Cleaning.

I was a bit nervous about how my husband would react to my exclamation, "I'm cleaning the dishwasher!"  I mean, doesn't the dishwasher clean itself when it runs?  Not according to Pintrest and not according to these pictures...take a look.      Oh relax, that black gunk is just bacteria infested Ovaltine. 

 

Week One:  NATURAL CLEANING

Clearly I needed to step in and wash what the washer couldn't wash.  I turned to Pintrest for a solution.   One of the pins said to arm yourself with warm soapy water, a toothbrush and a cup of vinegar. Easy.  I cleaned the dishwasher as best I could by hand, set it to extra hot and ran it empty with only a cup of vinegar on the top rack.  The vinegar is supposed to disperse and clean the rest of the machine.  Mission accomplished.

I figured I should do a few more things from my Fresh and Clean board just to kick off the week.  I threw baking soda in my toilette bowl and let it soak there for a while before brushing it away.  And no....you may not have a picture of my t- bowl.  I also took my already made spray bottle of vinegar & water and added a dash of dish detergent, lime essential oil and olive oil to make a homemade who-knows-what to clean my cabinets and wood floors.

Check out my clean dishwasher!  And why was I nervous about Luke's reaction?  Because he loads it like a serious game of Tetris and actually cares too much if it is not completely full. Running it with just one cup made him a bit dizzy but he supports my pintrest mission (I think he thinks he'll be fed better when all is said and done.)

Here is what I learned:
-I liked cleaning my T.Bowl with baking soda and probably will continue to do so.
-I rather clean with plain vinegar and water as I kept wondering if the dish detergent would create some sort of scum.
-As I cleaned, I thought of the term 'scum bag' and wondered who came  up with that awful phrase.    

Pintrest

In July my brother and I tried to do one new thing every day for 31 days.  I called it "31 Things" because I wasn't feeling too creative when I started the challenge to call it anything else but the obvious.  In fact, I was feeling a little over whelmed.  How in the world was I supposed to do 31 new things in 31 days with a five month old.  The answer was actually pretty easy: just do it.  (must give Nike some credit for that brilliant one.)

The truth is, I have never gone/done/accomplished so much in such a short span of time EVER.  I am the queen of starting something and then trailing off in hopes that everyone forgets my big declarations.  Remember that time I said I was going to write a book of poetry?  And the time I said I was going to learn how the play the guitar....in San Francisco with a monkey on my shoulder? And how I was going to be a runner who actually liked to run? I hope you forgot because I didn't accomplish any of those goals.   31 Things was different off the bat because I was doing it with my brother and he's actually quite annoying.   He would call multiple times a day to see if I'd done my "thing" yet and then talk to me for 20 minutes about how he was spending his day.   And this is why he's annoying....because his day consisted of being awesome all the time.  Oh yeah...my brother was painting roofs in Harlem, zip-lining in NY, running races in VT, survival camps in the woods of NJ..you name it...he was doing it and so I had to find at least SOMETHING to tell him.  


But eventually, I stopped.
31 things came to an end and instead of continuing my quest to be awesome- I sat back down on the couch and started watching 24 and using Pintrest during my sons naps.  What I noticed is that Jack Bauer looks like a rabbit and does more in 24 hours than I did in 31 days.  And Pintrest....well, Pintrest is a waste of my time if I'm not actually DOING any of the things I pin.  

My 8 1/2 month old kid has recently traded sleep and food for crawling and cruising.  I am on guard most of the day but there is time here and there for me to be me. My new challenge:  DO my pins. 

I tried to get people to embark on this quest with me but they all replied, "I already do many of my pins." My face turned a little red because I thought we were all in this together- just pinning to pin. I actually had one person say, "I do many of my pins many times a day."  ok annoying. 

I am not going to do many pins a day.  I am only going to do one pin a week.  I'm not trying to reinvent my life...I'm just trying to add a little flavor.   Some of my pins will be recipes.  Some will be crafts.  Some of these crafts will benefit my house, some will be presents for friends or people who need them.   But the point it...I'm doing it. 

If you want to do it with me....let me know!

Happy Pinning

Becky and Kyle

This Blog is intended for:
Bob Goff
Donald Miller
Ellen DeGeneres
Oprah Winfrey

My friend Becky moved to India in 2007 to work with orphans.  While in the Himalayas, she got a call that changed her life and the life of a tiny infant.  A nurse from a local hospital asked her to take a 3 ½ pound baby boy into her care.  Faced with choosing life or death for this child, she chose life.  With no plan on how to take care of him beyond immediate needs, she accepted the invitation to change his fate.  It was not a hard decision to make.  His frail body needed her strong arms and warm heart.  It took over 4 years to finalize his tricky adoption and bring him to the USA where he could meet the rest of his new family.  She had to change Indian laws to become Kyles legal guardian.  Although India recognized Becky as Kyles legal mother, America did not.  US Immigration would not give her son his official papers.  Another battle ensued.  After nearly five years of fighting, she made the adoption official in front of a judge in the United States via Skype.  Adoption in that manner had never been done before.  Standing before the Indian Supreme Court and battling with US Immigration to bring her son home was frustrating and costly but worth all the effort.  History was made as the doors were opened for more families to adopt in this manner.  Most importantly, her little boys life was saved.    

I don't know many people that set out to do what they love.  Most people have ideas, but they don't make them happen.   People have a heart for something, but they don't pursue it.  Becky isn't one of those people.  Single and under the age of 30, Becky sold all her belongings and moved to India to give a voice to the voiceless, love to the unloved and most importantly, life to a baby destined to be discarded on the side of the road.  

Becky is now home in the United States after not being allowed to leave India for almost five years.  She is dealing with tons of legal bills and a million questions about what to do next.  For so long her identity was wrapped up in bringing her son home.  Now, she struggles to figure out their new identity.  She would like to write a book to tell her story, but she isn't the best writer.  She'd like to do public speaking, but she doesn't know how to get started.  She wants to show her son our beautiful country but she doesn't have the money.  

Here's what I'm doing to help:

1) Her favorite band is Dispatch.  We got tickets to see them this October in Boston and I got in touch with Brad Corrigan to see if he'd have a pancake breakfast with us.  He isn't sure he has time to do that while on tour but I took a suggestion from Bob Goff and asked him to play "bigger/better."  My idea was breakfast....maybe he could come up with something better.

2) Ellen and Oprah are always giving away money, things and trips.  I'd LOVE for them to give his little boy the gift of seeing America's national parks.  I am going to work the the Twitter scene until I get their attention.  Maybe they'll play bigger/better with us.  

3) Becky came home from India completely spent and the only thing I could say to her was "read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and Love Does."  She read them both and felt renewed.  

My request to Bob Goff and Donald Miller:

Becky needs counsel.   She needs to understand how publishing works, how to write a book, how to find a ghost writer if it turns out she's not very good at writing.  She needs to learn about how to go about becoming a public speaker and how she can support herself while doing these things.  I am contacting you Bob because when she finished Love Does and Million Miles  she said, "I have to meet them."  As her friend, I want to see to it that she meets the two authors that renewed her spirits after she came home from India exhausted and confused about her new identity.  She lives in PA and can easily get to New York, Philly or Boston.  She will be in Boston for ten days in October to see Dispatch and visit me :)   Big is asking you to email her but Better is asking you to meet with her.   


Bob Goff says that Love Does.... Becky Did and Does and I just want her to have a break and get her spirits renewed.  
 
I'm going to add a pretty please for good measure. 

Mary Kay 

Mad Elephant

THIS MONTH MY BLOG IS ABOUT EXERCISE.  READ BELOW FOR MY NOT SO DEEP INSIGHTS ON HEALTH AND THE STATE OF MY BODY.   

Running isn't exactly easy for me.  When I run, I feel like I have cement blocks in my shoes.  I don't know how to describe it other than feeling very heavy, sort of like a drunk elephant escaping from the circus.  I clop down the main street like a wild woman trying to find my way back home all the while thinking, "I hope nobody sees me."  Impossible.  Nobody misses me.  My pace is so slow that I look like one of those old people who think they are jogging but are indeed actually walking fast with a bounce.  Rather, they are walking while leaning forward over their toes imaging they are running.   I don't know what is a worse sight, the mad elephant or the delusional old person.

When I run, I need a very clear loop.  The loop helps me focus on my end goal: my house.   If I want to run more miles in the future, I do not plan to make my loop bigger.  Instead, I'd rather just repeat my loop.  My loop makes me feel safe.  Unfortunately, my loop happens to be along the two biggest roads in my area:  Alewife Brook Parkway and Massachusetts Avenue- both main arteries into Boston.  Remember what I said about that mad elephant?  Losing weight in front of the world is so embarrassing.

Earlier this week I spent the entire first leg of the run doing two things:
1) Wondering if everyone knew my thighs were rubbing together. 
2) Wondering if I'd feel better if my shirt said, "give me a break, I just had a baby."
.......ok it was more than two things:
3) Imagining I was swimming instead
4) Wondering if the people passing me by were bigger or smaller than me
5) Wondering if they were thinking the same thing
6) Wondering if the smaller girl said, "at least I don't as much to lose as her."
7) Wondering if my footsteps were causing small cracks in the pavement
8) I use to run....and it use to be easy.  What happened?   

To top it all off, the day I ran in my neighborhood for the first time without my family (yes, we do family runs) was the first night we were putting our son in his crib unswaddled.  Yes, we were still swaddling our 5 1/2 month old.  All I kept thinking was- MUST.  GET. HOME before Luke attempts this without me. 

And so I ran.
Soon, my body didn't feel as heavy but instead, my brain felt heavy.  All those thoughts were truly weighing me down.  This run was feeling like a chore.  

As the sun was setting, I really started to book it.  I knew my boy needed me.  Then all the sudden I thought, "Luke can do it." Being out there was my chance to be on my own without the baby.  I am always with Anders.   Running is my way of truly being disconnected from home.  No phone for Luke to call me on and ask where the PJ's are.  Its just me and like a dumb Nike commercial, I'm going to add "and the pavement."   Just me and the pavement (and a million onlookers.) 

So I started to focus on my music.  Instead of getting anxious about how fat I was and wondering if people in their cars could see my fat, I started thinking:

1) Man, I bet they wish they were out here with me instead of still commuting home from work
2) I feel pretty strong...I'm not out of breath.
3) God is good... I have an amazing husband who is figuring out how to put a baby unswaddled to bed because he knows this run is good for me (I quickened my pace at that thought.)   
and of course...after I felt the teeny tiniest bit strong....my thoughts got a little delusional:  
4) I started pretending I was swimming instead of running
5) What I'd say to Michael Phelps
6) Pretending I was making my Olympic Debut and what Bob Costas would say about me
7) What my Olympic highlight story would say about me....humm...
8) What my...oh wait...I'm home!  I was just about to receive my gold medal and dream about if I were going to cry on the podium thinking about my accomplishments or look really intense like I was imagining the Revolutionary War going on while the Star Spangled Banner played.   (what does spangled mean?) 

and so next time I run, I'll think about getting on the podium and about how Missy Franklin is my best friend and that together we think of ways to use our fame to help our community....you know....  run and get lost in my dreams.

I realize I should steer my dreams into things a bit more realistic but hey....I've still got Olympic fever so give me a break.  

Slack Lining

So Active August has been hard for me.  The heat isn't very motivating.  Today my friend invited me to slack line.  I skipped church to check it out.  I felt a little bad about that but its not every day that I get asked to slack line.  It was hard but very fun. 

ACTIVE AUGUST

My 31 Things experiment from last month (dubbed Nuly instead of July) is over.  I told you all I was going to be active for the month of August and call it Active August.  Its been hot and I've been well...moving...slowly.  Today I jogged a mile.  People- give me time.  The days prior were active-ish but not intentional.  I'm sorry- its been hot out!   I wish I made this commitment for September.   Hey- at least I'm honest with you people!  Ok this is one big excuse.  I'll try harder on Monday.  I have to get ready...I'm having some girls over for ice cream.  ahhah.   jk?  

A REVIEW

31 days of doing something new every day has come to a close.    I started strong and intentional.  Then, I went on vacation and immediately into survival mode.  Rain, heat and my parents saying, "lets go out to eat" on repeat made doing new things hard.  Its not to say that I stopped doing new things, its just that the new activities became uninteresting...a new restaurant, a new ice cream shop, taking Anders to the beach (felt like we deserved a gold medal for that) and then finally on the last night of 31 things, I did nothing...which you could argue was new for that month as I had been doing something new every day prior.  Fine, argue I was lazy, see what I care.   

I have a few highlights from the month that I'd like to share with all of you.

Letters: 
I wrote to the band Dispatch and they wrote back.  Come October (when we see them in concert) they will do something cool with or for my friend Becky.   I was floored and I'd like to give Ingrid from Love Light and Melody a BIG thank you.  She is Brad Corrigan's assistant and although she is the lifeblood of the office, she still managed to correspond with me several times.  Brad- if you are reading this....give her a raise (or at least a yummy treat today).   And Ingrid, from the bottom of my heart- thank you.

I wrote to Hayley Mills and while I haven't heard back from her, other members of the Parent Trap franchise wrote back.  Both Leanna and Joy Creel said they'd meet me next time I'm out in California.  Who knows when I'll get back out there but its great to know they dig what I'm doing and encouraged me on my journey.   Creel sisters...thank you!  You always have a friend in Boston! 
and to my readers: I know this doesn't count as "meeting them" but its a good first step!  I'm on my way!!!  One day, you will all see a picture of me with Hayley and the triplets to add next to the picture I already have of the star of PT II.  Mark my words!!!!!    This will happen!

Love:
I sent a care package to someone who needed a hug and made a date to do something special with someone who is lonely.  I also supported the Benkert family with the click of the iTunes button.  Yup, I bought their kids some iTunes credit so they can entertain themselves while touring the USA.  These three things taught me how easy it is to change the course of someones day with one simple act.  I think the bigger lesson is to not treat these acts of love like a hit and run.  Its easy to do something ONE DAY and feel good about yourself.  I don't want to have a hit and run attitude.  I want to be there for people in a real and constant way.  I have more work to do...I don't want anyone to be a victim of a Mary Kay hit and run.

Fitness:
I got back on the trampoline again after 15 years and admitted to you all that hands down, I am out of shape and something needs to change.   I ran a mile in the blazing sun while down the shore and the next day, doubled it and ran two, just for good measure.  Mark my words, I will get back in shape.  There is no reason why I should have the flexibility of an 80 year old, speed of a snail and endurance of my 5 month old son (who needs to nap after exerting himself.)  

Community:
I gave local business my business and bought a few special things for my boy.  I spent time in my local Starbucks trying to meet people that I've seen for months years but never took the time to meet.   I now know their names and a little bit about who they are.  While in pursuit to meet new people, I challenged myself to look everyone I cross paths with in the eye and greet them.   I found the act of doing that made me happier and less focused on myself.  

 Creativity:
I wrote a lullaby for my son and then spent time with my neighbor working on the guitar end of it.  I am immensely proud of what we produced and loved spending time with Alex.  Speaking of creativity, I carved out time on a sunny Sunday morning to visit a local coffee shop and work on a children's story.  I drank tea, had breakfast and got lost in my wacky imagination.  Then, I walked to my cool funky church that is held in the Somerville movie theater.  If you are reading this blog and you live in the area- you are invited to come with me.  Its awesome and I think you'll dig it. 

Fun: 
I visited a local lake and loved it so much that I went back three more times that same week.  I also left Anders with a babysitter twice and went swimming with him in a pool.  I took him on a date to Concord with my friend Michael and to a Nuly Olympics Opening Ceremonies party held at my brothers house.

Kitchen:
I learned a few homemaker things as well: How to make lemonade, ice cream, pots de cream, and homemade chocolate cake.  After cooking/baking, I enjoyed these treats with my husband, friends and neighbors.  

Whats Old is New:
This month- all month long- My friend Leah and I vowed to not buy clothes for myself.  We succeeded.   I learned that I don't actually need anything.  I just have this awful ugly thing inside of me that wants things.  Needing and wanting are two different things.   Fortunately, I have always been on the wanting side of things.   I have a lot to learn about life....but none of it starts with me buying myself a new outfit.  I actually boxed up most of my clothes and next year when I am skinny again (Lord make that a true statement) I will shop through all the things I packed up instead of buying new things.


While I'm sure I did other things (sock bun...) the above is what stands out the most.   I learned that writing to people sometimes gets you HEARD.  Greeting people makes everybody involved HAPPIER and you less self involved.  Learning someones name and using it is POWERFUL.   Taking time out to be creative is ESSENTIAL.   Running is a reminder that God created me STRONG.  Cooking reminded me to be intentional about SHARING the goods.  Exploring my area made me appreciate my COMMUNITY and not shopping for myself taught me to be CONTENT with what I have. 

And so, my friends, I am excited to say goodbye to July.  It was a good month but now, I take on a harder endeavor.  I vow to do something active everyday in the month of August.  I have a LOT of baby weight to lose and I am going to lose it by moving my body! I don't promise to emerge a marathon runner or muscle girl.  I just want to leave August more flexible and comfortable in my own stretch marked (thank you Anders) skin.  I'm not going to annoy you on FB every day with my new thing but I do promise to keep up with this blog....so check back in.

And hey... thank YOU for reading and keeping me honest.  A few of you wrote me emails to tell me you dig what I'm doing or you wrote to tell me how this month has made you do things differently.   I'm glad for it.  We all benefit by living intentionally. 

Life happens when we shake it up a bit.
Thanks for shaking with me,

Mary Kay

The Parent Trap: An Oldie but Goodie!

Like you, I grew up watching The Parent Trap (over and over and over again).  However, unlike most fans, my friend Sheryl and I set out to meet all the cast members.  This makes us....superfans.

 

As you can imagine, we haven’t had much Luck.  Lets start with the (only) success story: 

Carrie Kei Heim from Parent Trap II agreed to meet with Sheryl and I two years ago in Harvard Square.  Over dessert at Finale, she told us about life as a child actor and what she has been doing  since.  For anyone curious: lawyer, writer, wife and mother and other things of course.  I don't mean to diminish her life by summing it up in four words.  I was excited to meet her and we were both astounded that she even agreed to it.  We talk about it to this day.  "Remember when Carrie Kei Heim met with us?"   Our grandchildren will hear that story! 

Then, Sheryl and I found the Creel triplets of Parent Trap Hawaiian Honeymoon fame on Facebook.  You would have thought we won the lottery.   In this movie, the Creel sisters were the epitome of cool.  They were all decked out in late 80's fashion and because they were playing the 'ole switch-a-roo with the boys....even the "nerdy" one was cool.  This picture doesn't do it justice...you really needed to see the movie to understand (on the deep level that I do) how awesomely 80's these girls were. 

 Last year, Sheryl and I (with husbands in tow) were planning a drive down the coast of California and asked the sisters via Facebook if they would meet us along the way for dessert or coffee.  Leanna was the only one who wrote back.  Sadly, she was out of town.  The weird thing is, she was really nice about it and just said, "Sorry, I'll be out of town."  Honestly, I expected her to be a little more surprised.  Are there others like Sheryl and I? Does she get this all the time?  The other sister, Joy, confirmed me as a friend on Facebook but didn't write back.  The final sister....well, we never heard from her.  

After we met Carrie, there was not a doubt in our mind that the Creel sisters would meet with us.  After Carrie, we didn't even think our request sounded nuts.  To sum up my conversations with Sheryl about the Creel situation: 
"When do you think they'll write back?"
"Do you think they'll write back?" (voice high pitched and unsure.) 
"Of COURSE they'll write back Sheryl....we want to get dessert with them!"
"Yeah, who wouldn't want to meet with long time fans inviting you for dessert?!"  

In retrospect, I realize we were crazy. 

One year after their rejection, we are still crushed.  Three big rejections like that means we won't meet all the cast members. (I'm counting not responding as a rejection.)  (Hang head, droop shoulders, shuffle feet) (tear.)  (Oh my goodness I'm writing in parenthesises again.) (Sorry, I'll stop.)

THEN....sometime after California, I tracked down the writer of Hawaiian Honeymoon- Deborah Amelon and asked her if there was anyway she had some sway with the Disney Exec's.  My objective: Get PT II, III and Hawaiian Honeymoon released to DVD.   Here is her reply: (p.s. "she" wrote back to me...meaning it was her, unless someone else thought it was funny that I thought they were a movie writer and responded back to me....very possible.) 

Hi there,

I am very intrigued and flattered by how much you like the Parent Trap series. I’m the one who came up with the idea of Hayley Mills marrying someone who has triplets and then they play tricks on her. I have two big questions:
How old were you in 1989 that you enjoyed it so much?
Do you think your generation would like to see the triplets grown up and going to college, or out in the world working?

Thanks!

Debbie

So, as you can imagine, I go into Day 17 of Nūly excited about reaching out to the most important Parent Trapper of them all....Mrs. Hayley Mills!  It is up to Hayley to redeem our mission.

Two letters will be going out.  One to her agent and one to her.  I'm not sure if either address is correct.....but here goes nothing.

Creel sisters,
If you're reading this- and you might be since I'm tagging you on Facebook- I'm not mad at you for not responding.  How could you know that I'm (relatively) normal?  How could you imagine that there really are people in the world trying to meet every single cast member of the parent trap franchise...not one, but two!  Oh Sheryl and I were so disappointed you didn't respond but in the end we understand.  I want you to know that for many, their childhood memories are wrapped up in movies.   For me, those movies were the Parent Trap franchise.  If I were home sick from school, I put on The Parent Trap.  I had all of them on tape.  If it was raining...on went the videos.  If I had a sleepover....we'd watch them back to back to back.   I'm writing to you because I think it would be awesome to meet all the people who entertained me as a kid and say thank you.  Meeting Hayley has been a dream of mine since I could remember. 

My goal today is to get Hayley Mills attention....would you help me?  If you have Hayley's email address- please send her this link.  I would like to have a pancake breakfast with her either in Boston or New York City.  It sounds crazy, but crazier things have happened.

My little boy has mulled it over and he's thinking: If the girls want one more chance to meet with you....do it!   Let them know your offer still stands.  He's so wise....isn't he? Creel sisters-  my pancake breakfast offer extends to you as well!   

 

Trampoline Madness

In 1996 I took the funniest picture ever.  I wish I still had it.  It was of me on a trampoline in the air, horizontal position with my arms outstretched....not a care in the world. It looked like I was laying on a bed, that's how horizontal I was.   Today I tried to recreate that picture for the first time since I've become an adult.  

The thing about becoming an adult is that age can lead to inflexibility and abnormal fear, both of which ruined the shot.  I literally couldn't do it with out screams of terror and pain.  In the picture from '96 my arms were outstretched and I was so flat against my bed of air that you could barely see my legs because my shoulders blocked the view.  My chin was up and my mouth was WIDE open.  I was really happy.

I think my goal for august should have to do with fitness because this shot basically says it all.  Look at that face.  F.E.A.R.   Really scared my inflexible back was going to break.   This needs to change. 

A Very Good Day

Today I said that I wasn't going to communicate with anyone via phone or Internet.  My goal was to only talk to people who crossed my path.  I failed by 8:30 am.   Please, let me explain.

At 8am we ran into Mary at Starbucks.  Mary is the happy girl I blogged about last week.  I told her I would help her with a school project, which required me to email a few friends for some book suggestions and then email her at the end of the night.  I felt like a cheat but at the same time, the point of me going on a facebook/gmail/phone hiatus was to get out of my house and know my neighbors a little more. I feel like that's what I did.  I left my house and ran into someone I met last week.  I offered to help her and used gmail.  Who cares?!!


The rest of the day I remained unplugged.  It was wonderful!

My bagel had a heart in it!  Look carefully :)

By 9am I was at Diesel Cafe in Davis Square writing a children's story that had been swimming around in my mind.  At 10:15 I walked to over to church.  I left the service early to feed Anders.  Luke and I had a friend over for brunch.  After she left, I took Anders to a park and we ended our afternoon together at a flea market in Davis.  Later that night when my boy was sleeping and my other boy was hard at work on his thesis, I made a chocolate cake from scratch...for the first time. 

Rooibos Tea

It was a good day.
A very, very, very, good day.  

iTunes

Saturday...what's not busy about a Saturday?  After all the errands and cleaning- Anders and I showed Luke the lake we found earlier in the week.  This didn't leave much time for me to go anywhere new to me.  After much thought, I decided that today would be the day I... Bought an iTunes gift card for the Benkert family.  iTunes?   This whole thing is my brothers idea and its his story to tell.  I've cut and copied his Facebook post.  Read and act on it. (for the whole story- check out their website: http://bringlove.in/)

31 Days of Nuly, day 11: I am dedicating a chunk of today to figuring out how I (hopefully WE) can help Levi Benkert and his family. I randomly found out about his book No Greater Love about a month ago and bought it. The story is about a 20-something year old guy (Levi) who left a major real estate business that he founded when the economy collapsed because, at his lowest moment, he heard about kids in a section of Ethiopia who were being killed because their parents believed that they were cursed due to a superstition. Over the past few years, Levi has dedicated his life to helping these kids -- and now others -- find homes by moving to a remote part of Ethiopia and literally helping to rescue children off of the street. He even adopted one girl who was left on the side of the road with her mouth filled with sand (intended to kill her). I was so moved by the book that I made email contact with Levi a few weeks ago. He has returned from Ethiopia and is touring the USA with his family this summer trying to raise money for their organization, Bring Love In. I offered my house for them to stay in August when they visit the NY area. He accepted. Since he is touring the country for 2 months with his wife and 4 young kids, I asked if there was any way we could help make their journey more enjoyable. He was reluctant to ask for anything, but after some prodding said that someone gave the kids and ipod and that it would be cool if I could help him load it up with some movies, songs or apps for the trip. I thought that perhaps we could surprise him today and load it up with credit from the itunes store. If you wouldn't mind making a small donation to Levi's itunes account, you can go to the itunes store, head over to their gift card section, and send him a credit to his email account: levibenkert@gmail.com. Thank you!!!!!

Check out their book: No Greater Love.  I read it and loved it.  I made it easy for you to buy....click the link to take you to Amazon :)  You can thank me later. 

FUN BUN

 I spent the 13th of July with my friend Leah learning how to make a sock fun bun.  I don't want to tell you how I did it because I want you to think: wow- her perfect bun must have taken HOURS.  (It didn't take hours.) (And also, imagine I'm wearing a fancy outfit and I bothered to put make up on.)  (Also, pretend I put product in my hair to reduce fly-aways.)  (I love writing in parentheses...it makes me feel like I'm whispering in your ear even though I'm not.)  (ok, I'll stop.) 

 

You might be thinking: Mary Kay- why the fun bun?

Here's why.  I'm a stay at home mom....but I'm not exactly looking like Betty Draper (featured below)

I can't let my kid steal my beauty (take a look at the picture below...I am seriously the beacon of beauty these days).  Its not enough to change out of my PJ's every day.  I need to care a little more about looking remotely like the person I was before I had a kid and got fat.  Note to self: get un-fat.   That's a challenge for another day.

Trying to look like Mulan.  

HERE IS MY VOW:  Now that I know a quick way to make my hair look nice, next week I am going Betty Draper.  I will make my husband dinner, put my hair in a fun bun, wear a dress, apron and red lipstick.  Candles will be lit and my house will be sparkly clean.  Yes, I'll take a picture of the finished product but for now....take a look at the rough draft :)

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Lazy Days of Summer

Today was a good day.  It was hot and sunny....a perfect day for the outdoors.  Anders and I revisited the park we went to on Monday with Meghan in Davis Square.  Later in the afternoon we walked to a new (to us) park near the cemetery and met up with Leah and Caleb- Anders friend who she was babysitting for the afternoon. 

Instead of going home, for the FIRST TIME, I walked with Leah back to her house.  When I left her porch I timed my walk home...

17 minutes door to door. 

Why aren't I walking more?  Why do I rely on my car when I have feet?   I complain about my weight but then I drive places i could easily walk to.  Lazy? Convenience? Poor planning?  No my friends....it is all of the above.  I'm lazy- and the car is a lazy mans best friend.   I also like to waste my time until the last minute.  Instead of being at someones house at 9am sharp....I take that to mean leave my HOUSE at 9am.  So, what do you think, poor planner?  How could I leave at 9am if I'm walking?  I'd be late to the tune of embarrassing.  

I smell another challenge coming on....

The Fabric of My Life

Michael is my friend.  He is easy to love and is also doing 31 Things.  Today we joined forces.  Mission:  Explore Concord using locals to help guide our way.  This means- smart phones off!

People, I don't want to lie to you.  I don't love museums on sunny days.  However, when we saw the The Concord Museum, we knew it was a great starting point for the day.  

Michael and I hit the jackpot.  Upstairs, in the old museum was a treasure.  Annie Leibovitz had a photography collection on display entitled "Pilgrimage"  

"The images speak in a commonplace language to the photographer’s curiosity about the world she inherited, spanning landscapes both dramatic and quiet, interiors of living rooms and bedrooms, and objects that are talismans of past lives. Visiting the homes of iconic figures, including Eleanor Roosevelt, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Louisa May Alcott, Pete Seeger, and Elvis Presley, as well as places such as Niagara Falls, Gettysburg, Old Faithful, and the Yosemite Valley, she let her instincts and intuitions guide her to related subjects—hence the title “Pilgrimage.” "

 Her collection highlighted the unassuming bits and pieces that stitched together the lives of iconic figures.  The parts of their lives that they didn't share with us.  When sewn together, this collection paints a picture of who they were.  Leibovitz captured the colors and landscapes that inspired Georgia O'Keeffe.  Her images of Graceland were beautiful.  My favorite was the television Elvis put a gun to and shot.

Why did he do that?  Legend has it that he was mad at Robert Goulet in the '50s for something involving Anita Wood and years later, in 1974, saw Goulet on TV and took a shot.  Can you imagine harboring such intense hate that 20 plus years later you see the guy on tv and shoot at his image?  I can picture a fat Elvis on the base of his bed staring at the blown out TV.  Room silent and the tangible evidence of his emotions still smoking.   Why wasn't it thrown out?  I want to believe this TV meant something to him.  To me, the TV is a reminder of the debt Elvis paid for a lifestyle full of gluttony. He had too much fame, too much food, too many drugs, too many options, too many possessions.  He couldn't figure out what was important.

I don't live my life in Elvis style- but I have luxuries that many in the world do not.  

What is important to me? How am I living my life in a way that reflects that?   How do I spend my money?  Who am I supporting when I use my almighty dollar?  How do I spend my time?  Who do I share my life with and if you saw my life in bits and pieces- what would you think of me?  How would you know what was important to me?  

I left the exhibit thinking about the fabric of my life.  How I can weave it tighter, better and make it brighter so that when I leave this this world, it remains carefully constructed and cherished?   I like the analogy of a blanket because blankets are comforts to people.  They save lives when given to the homeless on a cold night.  They are security for little babies.   Snuggle buddies for adults who need a break on the couch.  Some are works of art and hang on the wall.   I'd like to be all those things- to save a life, be comfort, be security, a snuggle and a work of art.

I need to start being more intentional about living my life instead letting my life just....happen.  When life happens, you turn into Elvis, and you forget what's important.

Below are the fabulous pictures of our fabulous day!  Michael, Anders and I were successful.  We met some locals, saw landmarks and ate lunch and dessert locally.  What a memorable day!  

The North Bridge

Michael and I went to the museum, the famous and scenic North Bridge, a local restaurant and got homemade ice cream at Bedford Farms Ice Cream Shop.  It was a great day!

Meeting New People and Visiting the Lake

MISSION EYE CONTACTO:  This is not for the faint at heart.  Saying hello to everyone you meet  is hard work, especially when you are trying to greet people at Starbucks before they have their coffee.   To be honest, when I walked into Starbucks, I wasn't thinking about my mission and therefore said hello to NO ONE.  Hang head, droopy shoulders, shuffle feet.  Yes, I'm ashamed.

If I didn't decide to drink my coffee in the cafe, I would have walked out of there without greeting one single person in my pursuit to do what exactly?  Get back into my car faster?  I don't understand what my rush is.  Why is it so hard to notice and greet my neighbors?  

I know I said I wasn't going to use Anders to help make talking to people easier.  I change my mind.  I'm almost never without him  People, give me a break!  I decided that I need to use what God gave me and He gave me a kick butt kid.  If that's who I need to make my way into the hearts of strangers, you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to use him.  Babies have a magical way of always making people smile and when they smile- EYE CONTACTO!

One of my sub-goals was to not only say hello to someone but also to engage in a conversation.  I purposely plopped down next to this girl because I recognized her from the day before and she seemed to smile easily.  She kept looking up from her computer to oogle and boogul at my little man.  I decided to tell her about my goal to say hello to everyone I see.   I admitted that today I failed because I was overwhelmed at the sheer amount of people waiting impatiently for their coffee.  Then I asked the magical question: "whats your name?"

Talk about a big step.  Asking for someones name makes your relationship go from stranger to acquaintance....   Now, when I see her, I can greet her by name.  She is no longer a stranger I am waving to- she is someone I know.  Calling someone by name is very powerful.   Do you remember the first time a new friend called you by name?  You feel validated, remembered and important. 

Turns out this girls name is Mary.  I screamed, "THAT IS MY NAME TOO! Do you also drink mochas?....oh...ok we have different drinks but WOW! WE ARE BOTH MARYS!!!!"

Next time I see her, I will tell her that I lied a little bit and that my name is in fact Mary Kay.  I think she'll be ok about that.

Later in the day I went to a lake down the road: Nuly goal #2 for the day and I met an entire family.  These people were Somerville natives.  They called my son Anduhhhs and I tried not to laugh.  They gave me extra diapers so Anders could swim around and even asked us to be in their family picture.  Their names were Bonnie (grandma), Lisa (age 30) and her three kids but I only remember two of their names- Luke and Emily.  In fact, I had so much fun at the beach I went back later in the day with my friend Tracey.  We met two wonderful women who were birders.... among other things....yes we got to know all about their lives.  Linda showed me some of the pictures she took of the owls and Janet let me use her binoculars so that I could see them better.  It was amazing. Oh- did I tell you that Tracey and I followed the sound of a HAWK until we located it.  We watched it on a branch until it flew off.  We also saw two OWLS with the help of our new friends Janet and Linda.  I hope to see those two again- they were great!  I hyperlinked Linda's name so that you can see the pictures that she took of the red screech owl. 

I am finding that as I start to meet people and learn their names, I see them more often.  I might have seen them before but now I'm registering them differently because they are no longer strangers.  My city is getting smaller as I make friends with the community one person at a time.  


My challenge to you:  meet someone today and learn their name.   
Turn your city into a community :)
In the very least, be like that girl Mary and smile!  Make it easy for people to say hi to YOU!

Today I took Anders to Shannon Beach.  We've never been there before.

We saw a hawk fly right over our heads

Babysitter Success

I'm ashamed to admit my goal for today because it really shouldn't have plagued and given me mounds of anxiety.   Ok- here goes:   Today my new thing was to leave my boy Anders Otis with a babysitter for the first time.  If you are a first time reader -yes- his middle name is Otis.   Get over it. 

When I first put this on my list, how do I say this? Ain't no thang.  This was going to be my "easy task" day. But somewhere between then and now, Anders developed a bad case of stranger anxiety.   Too young?  That's what I thought too.   Don't believe me.... hold him and see what happens.  

You know- this post doesn't need to be that long because I don't want this blog to be about my kid.  The short story: He was still sleeping by the time I came home.  After he ate, he let Meg hold him all afternoon.  I just switched him to a four hour eating schedule and he's well fed and better rested.  Yeah, I'm blaming his stranger anxiety on hunger, ok?   My kid will happily be passed around.

(even though his face is 90% of the time looking like this: I swear, he's a happy baby.  Though, he must have been watching Diff'rent Strokes in the womb because he is in constant *What Chew Talkin' About Willis* mode.) 

Why such a wreck leaving him with someone I love?  I realized I was 50% ashamed of his stranger anxiety.  I pictured Meg sweating it out and thinking, "this sucks."   The other 50% was me being sad for Anders, waking up from a nap....scared :( 

I've been a babysitter before and I've always hated moms like me.  I wanted them to just LEAVE THE HOUSE and quit worrying.  Let me work my babysitter magic.  Go do your stuff or don't do it and let me go home.

If Anders woke up screaming- Meg would have figured it out.  Also, Anders needs to figure it out.  He needs to figure out that other people besides mommy love him.  Meg loves his little face and he loves Meg.  Today was a success!  

NEW EXPERIENCE:  THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN AT THE PARK IN DAVIS SQUARE.  I HAVE WALKED BY THE PARK A FEW HUNDRED TIMES AND NEVER CHECKED IT OUT.  I LEARNED FROM MY BELFRY EXPERIENCE THAT IN LIFE, YOU JUST NEED TO SAY...."HEY, LETS CHECK THIS OUT."  I AM SO GLAD MEG AND I POPPED IN.  THERE WAS TONS OF SHADE, SAND AND HAPPY KIDS.  ANDERS AND I WILL SURELY GO BACK! 

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Eye Contacto

When I was in middle school I liked some boy.  I can't even remember who it was but what I do remember is this: whenever he and I made eye contact, which wasn't often, I'd say (scream) in my head: "EYE CONTACTO!"   I don't know why or what it means and I have no further points on this matter. I just wanted to put that memory down in writing.

Today was bust.   At precisely 8:05 pm I was supposed to meet with my neighbor to write some awesome guitar piece to accompany my lullaby.  However, at 8pm he sent me a text that started with, "you're going to kill me."   Thankfully, I didn't kill him.  I get to meet with him tonight and all is melodiously well.

Because doing this 31 things (one new thing a day) with a baby can be tricky,  I always try to have two things up my sleeve in case something fails.   Many plans have failed so far.   A few days ago I got an email from a friend telling me about a challenge she was given.  Her task was to make eye contact with every person she saw.  Not only that, she had to say "hello."   After she told me about the task, she admitted she didn't accept the challenge.  So I picked up her slack!  Always lookin' out for my friends :)

No- I'm exaggerating.  I didn't start my day trying to do the challenge my friend denied.  I imagined saying "hello, hello, hello, hello" over and over again and feeling like a freak.  However, I was at the grocery store and I passed by someone and noticed that they quickly put their head down.  They didn't want my hello.  They didn't want my EYE CONTACTO!    Or maybe...they aren't use to it?   So....I tried it on the next person.  No luck.  The next person.  No dice.   The next person was giving away free chocolate samples so no eye contacto from me on purpose...people..I can't just keep eating whatever I want, whenever I want.   I started to find this challenge really easy. 

I said hello to only a few people.  Most folks were in a rush, with a friend, on their phone, or purposely darting their eyes around avoiding my approaching gaze.  My friend....you know who you are... if you accepted this challenge, you'd find it wasn't awkward or hard at all. Nobody is looking at anybody these days.  It's kind of sad.  If I'm honest- most days- I'm that person with their head down.

I think I'm going to continue this challenge for the rest of the week.  My new goal is not just to say hello to everybody but to also engage in a conversation.  To make this goal harder, I have to do it without my son present.  Its easy to talk to people with him around.  Last week in the grocery store I talked to an old lady in front of the grapefruits.  By the time we were done with the conversation, I knew about her daughter living in Cali, her grandchildren and their Irish names, the baptism they'll have on the east coast.  I learned where her son in law is from and where they are going on vacation in a few weeks.   But Anders started the conversation by being so cute.   So if this is going to be  remotely challenging, Anders can't be there. 

And so- folks- Today my goal was to play the guitar with a friend (hard task considering I don't play the guitar.)  FAIL.   Second goal was to say hello to everybody.  FAIL...because nobody was looking at me.  I'll continue this goal for the rest of the week.   In turn, I learned that for me to carry this goal out, I had better keep my head up and pay attention the people around me.  I need to give them some EYE CONTACTO

The Belfry

We had to stay local today because of a possible storm brewing (sorry Kimble Farm- we'll try you again next weekend) and because we put Anders on a four hour eating schedule and we weren't sure how he'd do.  So, when in doubt, go to Lexington. 

As soon as we got there I regretted it.  The last time I was in Lexington during daylight hours was 24 hours before I had my son.  I was two weeks overdue and walked all over town trying to get him to fall out.  He didn't.  So as Luke and I made our way towards the Battle Green (for the 900th time), I started thinking about how I was going to have a new experience.  Maybe I'd join the Minute Men of Lexington?  Maybe I could...uh.... um... Come on Mary....think!   

As I got more entranced in my day dreams of what could be, Luke said, "Hey, lets check this out."

I looked up and saw an old sign pointing towards the belfry.  I must have walked past this sign a hundred times but never once asked the questions:  What is that?   Where does this path lead? Never did I utter the phrase: "Lets check it out," because I never saw the sign.  I walked past it a hundred times and *never* saw the sign.  How is that even possible? 

We almost missed seeing an important part of American history because I walk around life missing all the signs.  I'm not living in the here and now....I'm living in the "what's next?"

I'm walking around life with a glazed looked.  I see people and things, but its like my mind doesn't register it.  I must have missed a lot of important things and interesting people on my pursuit to see the main attraction.  Lexington's main attraction: The Battle Green.  Have you ever been there?   Look at my kid (featured right).  That's about as interesting as that place gets. Look at him!  He's like: I'm over it.  

If I'm going to do this 31 days thing right, I'm going to have to keep my eyes peeled and live for the moment.  My brother John wanted to see an eagle during his 31 days of Nuly.  As he and his family were driving upstate, they spotted a sign:  "EAGLE OBSERVATORY."   The signs are there, we just need to read them and say, "lets check it out."

Dessert with a Neighbor

I'm going to admit that today was hard.  I didn't have enough time or support to do some of the things on my list. Other things I could do- I didn't want to.  Oh... I was like an ungrateful kid in a candy store.  Nothing looked good enough.  Where does that leave me?  Baking with my husband at 9:00 at night just to say I did something new.  (Point of the 31 new things challenge wasn't suppose to result in emergency baking and yet there I was in the kitchen, barefoot and clearly showing signs of a baby bump even though the baby is long since gone...oh why am I still baking and eating for two?)  

Luke and I baked Chocolate Pots de Creme for the first time.  I've actually been wanting to make it for a couple of years so hey, now I made it.  Baking with my husband could have been like two bulls charging each other but instead it was like two bulls doing a careful ballet around each other.  That's not true at all.  I was so tired, I did whatever Luke told me and I didn't care one lick that he was running the show. I kept singing Carrie Underwoods song, "Jesus Take the Wheel" but I changed the words to "Lukie take the wheel...." In other news, Our dessert has to chill for four hours so we'll see how it tastes tomorrow.   As I type this, we are on the couch sad that we have no dessert tonight.  

 

I sent an email to some neighbors up the street to see if they would like to enjoy it (or hate it) with us sometime in the afternoon tomorrow.  We haven't had them over yet, and if they accept, that will also be a new experience...and perhaps the one I am most excited about.

It's pretty sad that it took almost five years for me to meet the people on my street.  I kept saying, "ah, city life! No one knows each other."  But that isn't true- at all.  My entire street knows everybody- but us. 

You see- I live in old school Somerville.  People here have raised families of four and five in single 1,000 square feet apartments.  Their cousins live across the street and mom and dad own the unit upstairs.   It's a small community of stoop sitters.   Seriously, in all weather, everyone is always on the stoop until you get to the end of the street where we live.  I don't know, we all seem to be inside watching tv or something.  So after I had Anders, I started walking my street and meeting the stoop sitters.

One day, I felt particularly self conscious.  I was feeling fat and maybe it was a day I hadn't bothered to brush my hair.  Anders drew some attention and I stopped long enough to talk to a sweet lady and her husband.  I honestly felt like saying, "sorry I look like such a mess- I'm not usually one of those moms..." (even though I am.)  Hence picture.  Ok...that's a lie. This is a lemon face.  I drank the lemonade sans the ade.   I digress.  Where was I.... I was talking to my neighbor feeling all sad that she met me on a day where I looked particularly awful (kinda like that photo)

But after a while of some great conversation, my neighbor admitted that she was feeling self conscious about talking to me because of her teeth.  They rotted out of her head because of her cancer treatments.  Cancer has over taken her body.   Somebody slap me for caring about my messy hair.  And p.s. its 104 degrees out...everyone has messy hair.  

Talking to my sweet friend reminded me: I need to make time for my neighbors.  So now most nights I take a walk up our street to see who I can talk to. I'm intentional about meeting my neighbors and talking to them because I feel that is the only way for me to really get to know my community.  Hey, when I wasn't intentional about it, I met no one. 

My blog is called 31plus things because what I do on any given day is just the start.  I made dessert today but it is tomorrow, when I share it with my neighbors, that really counts.