Becky and Kyle

This Blog is intended for:
Bob Goff
Donald Miller
Ellen DeGeneres
Oprah Winfrey

My friend Becky moved to India in 2007 to work with orphans.  While in the Himalayas, she got a call that changed her life and the life of a tiny infant.  A nurse from a local hospital asked her to take a 3 ½ pound baby boy into her care.  Faced with choosing life or death for this child, she chose life.  With no plan on how to take care of him beyond immediate needs, she accepted the invitation to change his fate.  It was not a hard decision to make.  His frail body needed her strong arms and warm heart.  It took over 4 years to finalize his tricky adoption and bring him to the USA where he could meet the rest of his new family.  She had to change Indian laws to become Kyles legal guardian.  Although India recognized Becky as Kyles legal mother, America did not.  US Immigration would not give her son his official papers.  Another battle ensued.  After nearly five years of fighting, she made the adoption official in front of a judge in the United States via Skype.  Adoption in that manner had never been done before.  Standing before the Indian Supreme Court and battling with US Immigration to bring her son home was frustrating and costly but worth all the effort.  History was made as the doors were opened for more families to adopt in this manner.  Most importantly, her little boys life was saved.    

I don't know many people that set out to do what they love.  Most people have ideas, but they don't make them happen.   People have a heart for something, but they don't pursue it.  Becky isn't one of those people.  Single and under the age of 30, Becky sold all her belongings and moved to India to give a voice to the voiceless, love to the unloved and most importantly, life to a baby destined to be discarded on the side of the road.  

Becky is now home in the United States after not being allowed to leave India for almost five years.  She is dealing with tons of legal bills and a million questions about what to do next.  For so long her identity was wrapped up in bringing her son home.  Now, she struggles to figure out their new identity.  She would like to write a book to tell her story, but she isn't the best writer.  She'd like to do public speaking, but she doesn't know how to get started.  She wants to show her son our beautiful country but she doesn't have the money.  

Here's what I'm doing to help:

1) Her favorite band is Dispatch.  We got tickets to see them this October in Boston and I got in touch with Brad Corrigan to see if he'd have a pancake breakfast with us.  He isn't sure he has time to do that while on tour but I took a suggestion from Bob Goff and asked him to play "bigger/better."  My idea was breakfast....maybe he could come up with something better.

2) Ellen and Oprah are always giving away money, things and trips.  I'd LOVE for them to give his little boy the gift of seeing America's national parks.  I am going to work the the Twitter scene until I get their attention.  Maybe they'll play bigger/better with us.  

3) Becky came home from India completely spent and the only thing I could say to her was "read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and Love Does."  She read them both and felt renewed.  

My request to Bob Goff and Donald Miller:

Becky needs counsel.   She needs to understand how publishing works, how to write a book, how to find a ghost writer if it turns out she's not very good at writing.  She needs to learn about how to go about becoming a public speaker and how she can support herself while doing these things.  I am contacting you Bob because when she finished Love Does and Million Miles  she said, "I have to meet them."  As her friend, I want to see to it that she meets the two authors that renewed her spirits after she came home from India exhausted and confused about her new identity.  She lives in PA and can easily get to New York, Philly or Boston.  She will be in Boston for ten days in October to see Dispatch and visit me :)   Big is asking you to email her but Better is asking you to meet with her.   


Bob Goff says that Love Does.... Becky Did and Does and I just want her to have a break and get her spirits renewed.  
 
I'm going to add a pretty please for good measure. 

Mary Kay 

Mad Elephant

THIS MONTH MY BLOG IS ABOUT EXERCISE.  READ BELOW FOR MY NOT SO DEEP INSIGHTS ON HEALTH AND THE STATE OF MY BODY.   

Running isn't exactly easy for me.  When I run, I feel like I have cement blocks in my shoes.  I don't know how to describe it other than feeling very heavy, sort of like a drunk elephant escaping from the circus.  I clop down the main street like a wild woman trying to find my way back home all the while thinking, "I hope nobody sees me."  Impossible.  Nobody misses me.  My pace is so slow that I look like one of those old people who think they are jogging but are indeed actually walking fast with a bounce.  Rather, they are walking while leaning forward over their toes imaging they are running.   I don't know what is a worse sight, the mad elephant or the delusional old person.

When I run, I need a very clear loop.  The loop helps me focus on my end goal: my house.   If I want to run more miles in the future, I do not plan to make my loop bigger.  Instead, I'd rather just repeat my loop.  My loop makes me feel safe.  Unfortunately, my loop happens to be along the two biggest roads in my area:  Alewife Brook Parkway and Massachusetts Avenue- both main arteries into Boston.  Remember what I said about that mad elephant?  Losing weight in front of the world is so embarrassing.

Earlier this week I spent the entire first leg of the run doing two things:
1) Wondering if everyone knew my thighs were rubbing together. 
2) Wondering if I'd feel better if my shirt said, "give me a break, I just had a baby."
.......ok it was more than two things:
3) Imagining I was swimming instead
4) Wondering if the people passing me by were bigger or smaller than me
5) Wondering if they were thinking the same thing
6) Wondering if the smaller girl said, "at least I don't as much to lose as her."
7) Wondering if my footsteps were causing small cracks in the pavement
8) I use to run....and it use to be easy.  What happened?   

To top it all off, the day I ran in my neighborhood for the first time without my family (yes, we do family runs) was the first night we were putting our son in his crib unswaddled.  Yes, we were still swaddling our 5 1/2 month old.  All I kept thinking was- MUST.  GET. HOME before Luke attempts this without me. 

And so I ran.
Soon, my body didn't feel as heavy but instead, my brain felt heavy.  All those thoughts were truly weighing me down.  This run was feeling like a chore.  

As the sun was setting, I really started to book it.  I knew my boy needed me.  Then all the sudden I thought, "Luke can do it." Being out there was my chance to be on my own without the baby.  I am always with Anders.   Running is my way of truly being disconnected from home.  No phone for Luke to call me on and ask where the PJ's are.  Its just me and like a dumb Nike commercial, I'm going to add "and the pavement."   Just me and the pavement (and a million onlookers.) 

So I started to focus on my music.  Instead of getting anxious about how fat I was and wondering if people in their cars could see my fat, I started thinking:

1) Man, I bet they wish they were out here with me instead of still commuting home from work
2) I feel pretty strong...I'm not out of breath.
3) God is good... I have an amazing husband who is figuring out how to put a baby unswaddled to bed because he knows this run is good for me (I quickened my pace at that thought.)   
and of course...after I felt the teeny tiniest bit strong....my thoughts got a little delusional:  
4) I started pretending I was swimming instead of running
5) What I'd say to Michael Phelps
6) Pretending I was making my Olympic Debut and what Bob Costas would say about me
7) What my Olympic highlight story would say about me....humm...
8) What my...oh wait...I'm home!  I was just about to receive my gold medal and dream about if I were going to cry on the podium thinking about my accomplishments or look really intense like I was imagining the Revolutionary War going on while the Star Spangled Banner played.   (what does spangled mean?) 

and so next time I run, I'll think about getting on the podium and about how Missy Franklin is my best friend and that together we think of ways to use our fame to help our community....you know....  run and get lost in my dreams.

I realize I should steer my dreams into things a bit more realistic but hey....I've still got Olympic fever so give me a break.  

Slack Lining

So Active August has been hard for me.  The heat isn't very motivating.  Today my friend invited me to slack line.  I skipped church to check it out.  I felt a little bad about that but its not every day that I get asked to slack line.  It was hard but very fun. 

ACTIVE AUGUST

My 31 Things experiment from last month (dubbed Nuly instead of July) is over.  I told you all I was going to be active for the month of August and call it Active August.  Its been hot and I've been well...moving...slowly.  Today I jogged a mile.  People- give me time.  The days prior were active-ish but not intentional.  I'm sorry- its been hot out!   I wish I made this commitment for September.   Hey- at least I'm honest with you people!  Ok this is one big excuse.  I'll try harder on Monday.  I have to get ready...I'm having some girls over for ice cream.  ahhah.   jk?  

A REVIEW

31 days of doing something new every day has come to a close.    I started strong and intentional.  Then, I went on vacation and immediately into survival mode.  Rain, heat and my parents saying, "lets go out to eat" on repeat made doing new things hard.  Its not to say that I stopped doing new things, its just that the new activities became uninteresting...a new restaurant, a new ice cream shop, taking Anders to the beach (felt like we deserved a gold medal for that) and then finally on the last night of 31 things, I did nothing...which you could argue was new for that month as I had been doing something new every day prior.  Fine, argue I was lazy, see what I care.   

I have a few highlights from the month that I'd like to share with all of you.

Letters: 
I wrote to the band Dispatch and they wrote back.  Come October (when we see them in concert) they will do something cool with or for my friend Becky.   I was floored and I'd like to give Ingrid from Love Light and Melody a BIG thank you.  She is Brad Corrigan's assistant and although she is the lifeblood of the office, she still managed to correspond with me several times.  Brad- if you are reading this....give her a raise (or at least a yummy treat today).   And Ingrid, from the bottom of my heart- thank you.

I wrote to Hayley Mills and while I haven't heard back from her, other members of the Parent Trap franchise wrote back.  Both Leanna and Joy Creel said they'd meet me next time I'm out in California.  Who knows when I'll get back out there but its great to know they dig what I'm doing and encouraged me on my journey.   Creel sisters...thank you!  You always have a friend in Boston! 
and to my readers: I know this doesn't count as "meeting them" but its a good first step!  I'm on my way!!!  One day, you will all see a picture of me with Hayley and the triplets to add next to the picture I already have of the star of PT II.  Mark my words!!!!!    This will happen!

Love:
I sent a care package to someone who needed a hug and made a date to do something special with someone who is lonely.  I also supported the Benkert family with the click of the iTunes button.  Yup, I bought their kids some iTunes credit so they can entertain themselves while touring the USA.  These three things taught me how easy it is to change the course of someones day with one simple act.  I think the bigger lesson is to not treat these acts of love like a hit and run.  Its easy to do something ONE DAY and feel good about yourself.  I don't want to have a hit and run attitude.  I want to be there for people in a real and constant way.  I have more work to do...I don't want anyone to be a victim of a Mary Kay hit and run.

Fitness:
I got back on the trampoline again after 15 years and admitted to you all that hands down, I am out of shape and something needs to change.   I ran a mile in the blazing sun while down the shore and the next day, doubled it and ran two, just for good measure.  Mark my words, I will get back in shape.  There is no reason why I should have the flexibility of an 80 year old, speed of a snail and endurance of my 5 month old son (who needs to nap after exerting himself.)  

Community:
I gave local business my business and bought a few special things for my boy.  I spent time in my local Starbucks trying to meet people that I've seen for months years but never took the time to meet.   I now know their names and a little bit about who they are.  While in pursuit to meet new people, I challenged myself to look everyone I cross paths with in the eye and greet them.   I found the act of doing that made me happier and less focused on myself.  

 Creativity:
I wrote a lullaby for my son and then spent time with my neighbor working on the guitar end of it.  I am immensely proud of what we produced and loved spending time with Alex.  Speaking of creativity, I carved out time on a sunny Sunday morning to visit a local coffee shop and work on a children's story.  I drank tea, had breakfast and got lost in my wacky imagination.  Then, I walked to my cool funky church that is held in the Somerville movie theater.  If you are reading this blog and you live in the area- you are invited to come with me.  Its awesome and I think you'll dig it. 

Fun: 
I visited a local lake and loved it so much that I went back three more times that same week.  I also left Anders with a babysitter twice and went swimming with him in a pool.  I took him on a date to Concord with my friend Michael and to a Nuly Olympics Opening Ceremonies party held at my brothers house.

Kitchen:
I learned a few homemaker things as well: How to make lemonade, ice cream, pots de cream, and homemade chocolate cake.  After cooking/baking, I enjoyed these treats with my husband, friends and neighbors.  

Whats Old is New:
This month- all month long- My friend Leah and I vowed to not buy clothes for myself.  We succeeded.   I learned that I don't actually need anything.  I just have this awful ugly thing inside of me that wants things.  Needing and wanting are two different things.   Fortunately, I have always been on the wanting side of things.   I have a lot to learn about life....but none of it starts with me buying myself a new outfit.  I actually boxed up most of my clothes and next year when I am skinny again (Lord make that a true statement) I will shop through all the things I packed up instead of buying new things.


While I'm sure I did other things (sock bun...) the above is what stands out the most.   I learned that writing to people sometimes gets you HEARD.  Greeting people makes everybody involved HAPPIER and you less self involved.  Learning someones name and using it is POWERFUL.   Taking time out to be creative is ESSENTIAL.   Running is a reminder that God created me STRONG.  Cooking reminded me to be intentional about SHARING the goods.  Exploring my area made me appreciate my COMMUNITY and not shopping for myself taught me to be CONTENT with what I have. 

And so, my friends, I am excited to say goodbye to July.  It was a good month but now, I take on a harder endeavor.  I vow to do something active everyday in the month of August.  I have a LOT of baby weight to lose and I am going to lose it by moving my body! I don't promise to emerge a marathon runner or muscle girl.  I just want to leave August more flexible and comfortable in my own stretch marked (thank you Anders) skin.  I'm not going to annoy you on FB every day with my new thing but I do promise to keep up with this blog....so check back in.

And hey... thank YOU for reading and keeping me honest.  A few of you wrote me emails to tell me you dig what I'm doing or you wrote to tell me how this month has made you do things differently.   I'm glad for it.  We all benefit by living intentionally. 

Life happens when we shake it up a bit.
Thanks for shaking with me,

Mary Kay